Many years ago, i sat in my class in primary 5 weeping. Mr Quashi my class teacher was bewildered and wanted to know why i suddenly started to cry. In the midst of my tears i had to think of a lie because he wasnt going to take “nothing” for an answer.
An hour earlier i watched Chinenye my archrival and sworn enemy play at recess with my best friend. I watched them laugh and play and i wondered if this was really the end. I cannot remember why i disliked her. I just know i didn’t want to be friends with her. Now she was trying to get my best friend? Just like that! Or was Efua going to bring this, this girl i had no words to describe into our midst? I disliked Chinenye more. How dare she? This was my friend! My own friend! What was Efua even doing with her?
An hour later and Mr Quashi, innocently put me to sit with Chinenye. All the rage my small body could muster rumbled through me like a volcano. How? Why? No!!! I could contain my anger no longer and burst into tears. Mr Quashi wanted to know why i was crying. Very quickly, i thought of something. I told him it was because my dad had warned me not to sit with her. She had rashes on her body and could give me measles. Of course, i knew my dad was busy and would not come to school and she did have strange rashes.
Poor Mr Quashi. I can’t remember how he solved the problem.
A few years into the university, Efua gained admission into Unilag. Things were changed. I had seen her only 3 times through out secondary school and we werent best friends anymore. One day i reflected on the primary school incident and thought of how much i wanted to keep my friend and life was probably laughing at me. Life has a sick sense of humour
I adore friendship and have even more envied the kind hollywood and social media presents from afar. To have a female gang and connect with a group of girlfriends on a very intense level. But no, that would not be my story.
It only happens for a short while and ends. i’ve finally decided to enjoy every moment i share with the friends i have. I may never be able to connect with a girl or have someone to tag “bff” and take smug or crazy birthday pictures with like the taylor swift gang.
More still the bff thing is a sham. Best friend for as long as you can and save yourself the heartache the other “f” brings.
I have had one bff, not a lady but a guy and i have lost him. His friendship is one that I would cherish for as long as I live. He was my best friend and the boo. I use the past tense because he passed away on October 1st.
There is paucity of words to describe the pain and heart ache I felt and still feel. Its sad to realise yet again that this world is not a wish granting factory. Only God can promise forever.
I started to write this post on female friendship and told him about it and why I have given up on the notion that I would ever have a bridal shower. We laughed about it and today I have to restructure my post to include him in past tense.
Earlier I talked about the uncanny display of life’s sick humour. I wrote that before Seun died. Many times we would talk about how this love was forever and how large it was to the moon and back. How wrong we were. Relationships are not forever. Relationships whether with females or males, superficial or genuine should be enjoyed at the moment. No one can promise tomorrow. Some friendships have gone not because of death. Some would still go and new ones would be formed.
This reminds me of a post I wrote on grief a while back. I said my biggest fear is losing a loved one. It isn’t anymore. Death is inevitable. Because of the wonderful memories I have of Seun, he lives on in my heart. He taught me a lot i would never forget. He was an institution of friendship and had so much happiness to share with people. I would miss him a lot but there is a hope we would meet again.
Seun, you do not have to worry about eating vegetables, whether Arsenal would win or not, your body mass that would not go up, the assignments your boss gave and deadlines to meet, fake friends whose friendship were superficial, exams, your babe and her wahala, the drugs you had to take, whether they would stay down or not, the future…. Absolutely nothing!
Your smile is what is what I always want to remember.